5 wishes for my kids, my ads and my brands

There’s nothing like watching your younger child march off to secondary school to make you a little pensive.

So here are five principles that I hope we follow, as we negotiate the choppy waters ahead…

Is it just me, or do they feel as relevant to brands and advertising as they are to school, families and friendships?

1.    Let us never be afraid to let go.

We’ve created, nurtured and loved these wonderful creatures in order that that they are able to make their way in the world, overcoming obstacles and celebrating all the good things they encounter.

Instead of fearing that fact, we should embrace it.

They’re not ours to control.

2.   Let us keep on learning

For any child, questioning and exploring is as instinctive as breathing. And yet as we grow, we stop doing this.

Too often we close things down rather than open them up. We like a simple answer more than another question. And most of all we like to feel like we know best, that we have the solution.

The only way to be and stay smart is to admit there’s so much still to learn.

3.    Let us be fluid, not fixed

Instead of seeking THE answer, I want us to think in a more divergent way. Instead of just trying to make what we want to happen happen, I want us to react positively to the world we find ourselves in each day. Instead of being on transmit, I want us to listen to others, to absorb, to consider.

I want us to be part of our world, shaped by it as much as we shape it.

4.    Let us stay true to ourselves

But being fluid doesn’t mean aimlessly blowing whichever way the wind goes. Polonius may have been a doddery old fool, but it’s hard to argue with "To thine own self be true".

I hope that we always have a clear aim or purpose in life and a clear sense of who we are. Then we can react with the world around us in a way that makes us better, but doesn’t make us into someone else.

5.    Let us be generous, always

Above all, I want us always to try to share –  ideas, energy, thoughts, problems and, of course,  time. I want us to give because giving is good, without asking for a quid pro quo.

Interestingly, those who approach life with a generosity might well be the winners after all, as this wonderful bit of research from UC Santa Barbara suggests - @nilofer Is there such a thing as "survival of the nicest"> new research on generosity and exchanges. http://ow.ly/5WMGg

Are we just talking a good game?

A foolish man I once knew finally proposed to his lovely girlfriend. He got her the beautiful ring and they announced the engagement. But after countless efforts to set a date, she finally got him to confess…

He’d hoped that the act of proposing was enough of a ‘show of commitment’, and maybe they could just forget the getting married bit?

It’s a mistake that I think many of us are guilty of in our work every day. We make such a song and dance about embracing the digital age that secretly we hope we can get away with carrying on as we were.

Of course everyone’s busy talking about new models of communication, from selly telly to digital engagement; from being didactic to creating conversations. Because everyone can see which way the wind’s blowing.

But look closely at the way many people talk, and something very interesting is revealed. Like a gambler’s tell, or body language ‘leakage’, there’s a lexicon of control that gives many of us away…

‘We want to make audiences pay for our content’ say the broadcasters

‘We want to make consumers talk about and share our ideas’ say the brands

And, best of all, the classic - ‘We want to make people love us’

Really?

Transfer that language into any human situation, and you soon realise how absurd it sounds

‘I’m going to make you pay’

‘I’m going to make them talk about me’

‘I’m going to make you love me’

We can’t make people pay. We can only offer something that's so valuable to someone that they’ll be prepared to part with their hard-earned cash to get it

We can’t make people talk about us. We can only give them things that are interesting or useful enough that, of all the things they could be talking about and sharing, they’ll choose this

And as for making someone love us? Surely we all realised that wasn’t possible before we’d even emerged from our teenage years.

So isn’t it time we all stopped talking about what we want to make people do?

Shouldn’t we instead start asking what we can do to earn their time, money, or love?

As we’re always saying, the digital revolution is ushering in a new era of consumer/audience control.

Although, actually audiences and consumers have always been in control.

It’s just that before, we were always too busy talking at them, to notice them ignoring us.